Sorry, a little rap reference in the title. I couldn't help myself.
I was thinking about relationships today and how we behave in them. Why is it that so many of us save our best selves for the cashier at Dunkin Donuts and then come home and act grumpy to our spouses? Is it some kind of safety mechanism? Maybe we save the stresses we all carry and take them out on the people who we know will love us no matter what.
I would like to put forth the theory that this is neither good nor helpful. It seems to me that we should be doing our best work with the people whose judgments really matter; our family, our close friends. These are the people whose lives we have a vested interest in and to whom we should feel an allegiance. Shouldn't we want to make them smile, to feel good? Shouldn't we use please and thank you with them just as much as we would a waiter?
I'm not saying you should start being that curmudgeony patron that makes his or her serviceperson cringe. That would be hypocritical, considering I have what one friend calls a "civility dysfunction." (I.E. When someone bumps into me, I say "sorry, excuse me.") No, what I am proposing is continuing to treat everyone you meet with kindness, but making sure you have some saved up for the end of the day when you get home too. Home is where the best, most positive aspects of your personality have a place to shine. After all, your family and friends already think you're pretty great. Just imagine if you give them all the same simple kindnesses you hand out on a daily basis to those you don't know. It could be pretty amazing.
Clearly, this is one of my resolutions in the "general" category. I'll let you know how it goes. But for now, I have to go yell at my husband for failing to remove his coffee filter from the pot this morning... :)
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