In addition to ranting, venting and general outlay of personal philosophies, I am now going to add guilt assuagement to my blog repertoire. (Don't look "assuagement" up; it is not a real word but I firmly believe it should be.)
So, that little voice in my head (i.e. my mom) recently told me that I should stop limiting "screen time" so severely with my kids. Over the Christmas vacation, I decided to give it a whirl. At first, I would hang out near them watching Dora or TUFF Puppy, asking thoughtful questions about the characters' motivations. Occasionally, I would throw in the Spanish word equivalent to try to add a bilingual aspect to Arthur. After the less than enthusiastic reaction to my discussion questions, I would slink off to the quiet kitchen to make dinner, feeling horribly guilty about the tv watching going on.
This went on for the first week or so. Then, all of a sudden, in my guilt ridden state, I realized I had actually gotten through making turkey meatballs without washing my hands fifty million times to remove something from someone's mouth or stop someone from poking someone else with a chopstick. It was really nice; I'll be honest with you. I started thinking this tv thing might have some real perks.
On Saturday of the first week, I turned on Penguins of Madagascar for my oldest son while the younger ones napped. I decided to workout in the room he was watching to see what kind of horrible debauchery was going on in the show. You know what I found out? That cartoon is freaking hilarious. I rarely laugh out loud during movies, and I think I laughed three times in the half hour segment. It was seriously funny. There is a ring tailed lemur character with an Indian accent who could do stand up on the Comedy Channel. I couldn't believe it. The show I had put on to entertain my 6 year old was actually entertaining me!
Needless to say, I learned a few things during my sojourn into tv land. I'm not saying we're going to have a screen time free for all in the house from now on, but I will say that I like an hour of peace and quiet in my day and that there is inherent value in laughter. And, if I'm having a rough day, I might just sit down with my kids and laugh next to them at the silliness on the screen. Thanks Mom.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Wake up, wake up, wake up...it's the first of the month.
Sorry, a little rap reference in the title. I couldn't help myself.
I was thinking about relationships today and how we behave in them. Why is it that so many of us save our best selves for the cashier at Dunkin Donuts and then come home and act grumpy to our spouses? Is it some kind of safety mechanism? Maybe we save the stresses we all carry and take them out on the people who we know will love us no matter what.
I would like to put forth the theory that this is neither good nor helpful. It seems to me that we should be doing our best work with the people whose judgments really matter; our family, our close friends. These are the people whose lives we have a vested interest in and to whom we should feel an allegiance. Shouldn't we want to make them smile, to feel good? Shouldn't we use please and thank you with them just as much as we would a waiter?
I'm not saying you should start being that curmudgeony patron that makes his or her serviceperson cringe. That would be hypocritical, considering I have what one friend calls a "civility dysfunction." (I.E. When someone bumps into me, I say "sorry, excuse me.") No, what I am proposing is continuing to treat everyone you meet with kindness, but making sure you have some saved up for the end of the day when you get home too. Home is where the best, most positive aspects of your personality have a place to shine. After all, your family and friends already think you're pretty great. Just imagine if you give them all the same simple kindnesses you hand out on a daily basis to those you don't know. It could be pretty amazing.
Clearly, this is one of my resolutions in the "general" category. I'll let you know how it goes. But for now, I have to go yell at my husband for failing to remove his coffee filter from the pot this morning... :)
I was thinking about relationships today and how we behave in them. Why is it that so many of us save our best selves for the cashier at Dunkin Donuts and then come home and act grumpy to our spouses? Is it some kind of safety mechanism? Maybe we save the stresses we all carry and take them out on the people who we know will love us no matter what.
I would like to put forth the theory that this is neither good nor helpful. It seems to me that we should be doing our best work with the people whose judgments really matter; our family, our close friends. These are the people whose lives we have a vested interest in and to whom we should feel an allegiance. Shouldn't we want to make them smile, to feel good? Shouldn't we use please and thank you with them just as much as we would a waiter?
I'm not saying you should start being that curmudgeony patron that makes his or her serviceperson cringe. That would be hypocritical, considering I have what one friend calls a "civility dysfunction." (I.E. When someone bumps into me, I say "sorry, excuse me.") No, what I am proposing is continuing to treat everyone you meet with kindness, but making sure you have some saved up for the end of the day when you get home too. Home is where the best, most positive aspects of your personality have a place to shine. After all, your family and friends already think you're pretty great. Just imagine if you give them all the same simple kindnesses you hand out on a daily basis to those you don't know. It could be pretty amazing.
Clearly, this is one of my resolutions in the "general" category. I'll let you know how it goes. But for now, I have to go yell at my husband for failing to remove his coffee filter from the pot this morning... :)
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